


Like A Rolling Stone

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - Porn, Banter, Character Study, Drug Use, F/M, Fail sex, Humor, Viral Stardom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-17 01:58:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13066761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: When Dan Avidan joined D-Club Studios, he thought the porn lifestyle he'd lucked himself into would pave the way to easy street.  But life in adult entertainment is a lot harder than he thought it would be, and is complicated by his feelings for his jaded co-star, Suzy.





	1. Chapter 1

“I have my shots and I’ve got my papers,” Dan said, stepping over the threshold of the doorway to the D Club, a small porn studio hidden in the Valley. He was strolling side-by-side with Arin Hanson, his new boss, head of the studio and occasional director and producer toward the small set where they were filming. “So what do I do now?”

“Get to wardrobe and then get it up?” Arin suggested. Dan couldn’t help but wince at his forward crassness. “C’mon dude, you’re going to fuck a girl on camera. I have no idea why you’re getting blushy on me now.”

“It’s kind of my first time doing this professionally,” he said. “I’ve done it amateurishly. But not for money before.”

Arin’s voice suddenly took on the hectoring tone of a teacher. “Boyfriend-girlfiend bedroom sex isn’t porn. Didn’t you say you were in an orgy once? Think of orgy sex – keep it up and keep it hard ‘til the director says you can come.”

“Understood.” Dan felt squirmy now, as wardrobe fluttered around him, putting him hin a navy three-piece business suit without having the courtesy to tuck him into a dressing room first. “Do I get a dressing room?” he asked.

“That depends on the next few hours,” Arin said. From behind him came a cough, and he shifted to reveal a short, dark-haired girl with tattooed arms. “There’s my girl,” he cooed, saccharine to the bone suddenly. “Suzy, this is Danny Sexbang, your new co-star. Dan, this is Morty Berhow.”

Dan offered over his hand, thinking to himself that that wasn’t much of a porn name. But he smiled and played along. “Hi! Arin’s told me so much about you.”

Dan was fully dressed, his long hair slicked into a messy ponytail, as the handshake commenced. Suzy smelled like expensive perfume, so strongly Dan nearly sneezed as he let go of her hand. Arin maneuvered them toward craft services, which was a couple of boxes of donuts, a grocery store platter of fruit and carafes of tea and coffee. 

“I’ll leave you to get used to each other,” Arin said, then plunged through the crowd of wardrobe girls, yelling at the lighting guy for making his set look cheap. As if the knockoff motel room furniture could have been made to look cheaper than they already were. Dan had seen similar set-ups when he’d sold furniture, so bored out of his mind that he said ‘fuck it’ and posted a video of himself jerking off in the mens’ room during his coffee break to his (locked, thank you very much) Facebook account. The video had gone viral somehow and he’d been fired, but offers had poured in from porn studios for much more lucrative work, mostly because…

“So you’re the guy with the huge cock?” Dan choked on his tea. Suzy stared up at him until he finally stopped choking. 

“Ahaha yeah,” Dan laughed semi-hysterically. “That’s me!”

“Good,” she said. “These needle dicks have been making me look like shit lately. Maybe if you’re good enough I’ll finally get a box cover again.” She slapped him on the shoulder and strolled to the set, her tight black dress revealing every single one of her curves. Dan started to get hard. He watched her and grew even

:”So do you need a fluff job?” Arin asked from his perch behind the small digital camera they’d employed for the shoot.

“Ohh no,” Dan said. “I’m fully capable at the moment, thank you.”

“All right – we’re shooting in five.” Arin turned off his phone and shoved it into the front pocket of his loud Bermuda shorts. “Good luck, dude.”

Dan looked over at Suzy. She smiled through black-painted lips, predatory enough to make him shiver.

He knew suddenly that he’d need that luck in spades if he wanted to survive this shoot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan Meets Brian.

The room was, of course, not a room at all – just a cordoned-off, sheet-covered area with two chairs, four people, and a bunch of brushes and makeup trays. 

The makeup lady assigned to Dan had no idea what to do with his features. Bending over him, squinting into his face as his dentist always did, she frowned and brushed along the long line of his cheek. “You have bones I could carve a roast against,” she said.

“Oh,” said Dan, sitting uncomfortably back and wincing as the flimsy chair rocked. She sighed and got white foundation out and began to apply it to his cheeks. Dan stared into the mirror at his face as he was turned into something that wasn’t quite a pasty zombie but didn’t feel wholly like him either. He was patient but bored out of his skull as she hovered and fussed. It was almost trance-inducing, and he didn’t even notice that someone had entered the area until he felt a rush of air cause the hair on the back of his own neck to stand at attention.

“Lari,” Came a casual, almost monotone drawl. “Did that merkin come in yet?”

“It’s in the presser with the panties”, she said. 

A grumbling sound. Dan tried to be nonchalant as he looked at the man. Distinguished, a bit shorter than him, with some pudge and gunmetal-gray hair. He was chewing large bites of an apple and sucking them down while he paged through the costumes left pinned up and ready to be worn. After a long minute, the make-up artist finished with Dan and let the hairdresser get at him. She let out a deep sigh and dug into his curls with a flat iron and as much water as his curl would take.

The other guy sat beside him and sat still as he was made up, then shaved. Keeping a polite distance from the woman who was helping him, Brian eyed Dan up and down with his almost discomifttingly piercing blue eyes and said, “so you’re the newbie?”

“Yeah,” Dan said, trying to keep the squeak out of his voice.

He grunted. “Think you’re really ready to handle this?”

Dan shrugged. “Yeah, well, I mean…I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

“Of course not. You’re a stunt dick,” said Brian, quite slowly and coolly. “You’re there to hold on to the girl’s waist, slam your dick into their holes and make sure they look pretty when you do it.”

Dan frowned. “Duly noted. And terribly cynical.” 

“But truthful. You’ll see.” The bib was pulled away and he stood up with a stretch. “Melinda, I’ll be waiting in the bathroom to get this affixed,” he said, waving the merkin as if it wasn’t a big deal. Over his shoulder he added, “oh, and Dan? Watch out for Berhow,” Brian said, his eyes a sharp, glimmering pool of blue. “She likes to use her teeth.”

Dan spared at the space he’d vacated. “What’s wrong with that dude?” he asked no one in particular.

“It’s Brian,” the hairdresser said, pulling Dan’s bib away. “He’s been around,” she said, emphasizing all of her words. “You should be fine, go get dressed in the bathroom and wait in the green for someone to get you.

“Got it,” Dan said. He glanced at himself in the mirror and saw a lion’s mane of hair sticking out around his ears. It….actually didn’t look too bad.

Not at all.

He grinned. “Punk rock,” he said, sticking out his tongue, giving himself devil horns and leaving the make-up room to dress.


	3. Chapter 3

They put him in a tight pair of jeans and a black teeshirt. When he saw Suzy –dressed in fishnets, a black dress cloaking her tight curves – he suddenly understood why. They looked like a gothic boyfriend and girlfriend.

That’s who he’d pretend to be, he vowed, as she sat down beside him, faking a smile, crossing and uncrossing her stocking clad legs. He was getting hard just looking at her thighs – then again he’d always been easy to arouse. They were given no dialogue. It’d all be aesthetic. He understood Suzy had filmed a solo scene beforehand to set the mood. The neon-pumped surroundings suggested some kind of 1980s rebellion. He tried to let that influence his attitude.

But he didn’t have any time to project an attitude; abruptly, without any conscious effort on his own part, his lap was filled with Suzy. 

The kisses were too tonguey, too sticky and frantic. Suzy’s nails were tacky, and they kept pinching his flanks as she attacked his chest with her teeth and kitten licks, pulling his shirt up and biting his nipples.

And okay, maybe they should have had a discussion about turn-ons before this, because it wasn’t doing anything for him, he was sitting there going soft, trying to moan and keep up eye contact, make the camera believe they were into each other.

Suzy didn’t reward his efforts with anything but a roll of her eyes; she found his belt and pulled it loose. She rubbed his dick through his jeans, making those open-mouthed porn expressions no woman makes in real life. She unzipped his jeans and pulled his dick out of the fly of his boxers.

And then Suzy was holding his limp dick in her hand. Dan made a perplexed noise as she stared at his dick as if it were a plate of brussel sprouts. When had he wilted? He’d never done this before.

“What the fuck?” Suzy asked his crotch.

Dan laughed, and he heard Arin calling for a cut in disgust.


	4. Chapter 4

“What’s the matter?” Dan asked. 

“Dude, no one needs laughter in their porn. They want jizz, tears, spit and squirt, but laughing?!” He pointed at Dan’s dick. “Plus that thing’s going all windsock. Go get hard, dude, or I’ll replace you with Brian.”

Suzy rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Brian yells out math problems when he comes. Let’s wait for the newbie to work his dick magic.”

Now it was Dan’s turn to be abashed and reluctant. He’d done this before, on camera – he could certainly do it again. Pulling out his dick, he stared into Suzy’s eyes and – well, started jerking off.

In seconds he was blood-stiff, and, embarrassed, took a look around himself. Arin was staring with his eyebrows up and his mouth gaping. Suzy…well, she was smiling. 

“Are we ready to roll?” he asked.

Arin nodded. “Pack it back up and start the cameras!” he yelled. “We’re rolling!”

*** 

The experience was, in a nutshell, nothing close to what Dan expected it to be. He was good at keeping himself up and functional for hours, if need be, but the clinical work of maneuvering cameras around his and Suzy’s pulsing, humping bodies was a little chilly. Just a tad bit clinical.

“Okay, doggy,” Arin yelled, and he assumed the position and pulled Suzy’s moaning, shuddering body up against his. His hips and dick moved with metronome-level speed as she ground herself into his lap and stared into the camera, as if the viewer were the one bringing her to such fake heights.

And those heights were definitely fake. Tragically, Danny could tell that one with both eyes closed and his dick buried inside of her.

“Fuck me, baby, make my pussy squirt!” she squeaked.

Dan did – his jeans and legs were soaked by whatever had just flooded out of Suzy, though he was fairly sure it wasn’t squirt. Only the vicelike tightness of her kept him going.

“You can pull out and come on her tits any time,” Arin informed him.

Dan did as he was bade to do. It took a minute after Arin shouted cut for him to get any sort of energy flowing through his sore mucles – but only seconds for Suzy’s expression to turn sour.

“Ugh,” she said. “You got jizz in my wig. This is like, a brand new wig and it’s made of real human hair!”

“I’m…sorry,” Dan panted.

She shrugged and got up off of her knees. “It was the last scene I’m shooting today, anyway,” she said. Pulling off that wig, he noted that her own hair was medium brown at the roots – dyed jet black from the middle of the skull down. “You might wanna put your dick away.”

“Oh,” he said. Numbly, he tucked his dick back into place while Arin crowded next to the camera, enjoying whatever the dailies were showing him. Suzy had pulled her blouse closed and donned a robe, and was bouncing off to the curtained-off silence of her trailer.

Dan followed behind, without even thinking. He barely felt Arin press a check into his open hand and urge him to go seek out what he wanted of Suzy’s time. As if he had any right to it, after his mediocre performance.

Suzy was washing her face, and had immediately begun to apply another coating of foundation when she told him to come in as he patted the top of the curtain to effect a knock. 

“Uh – I didn’t mess up too badly back there. I did what you wanted, right?”

“You had a big dick and lasted for a long time. So yeah, you did.”

He sighed. “I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot with you…”

She smiled and shrugged. “We’re not on any foot with each other, Dan. In fact, we might as well be on different planets.”

He tilted his head at her. “So you didn’t have a good time?”

“Did it look like I was?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Then I had a good time.” She sighed and reached for the top drawer of her dresser. “Dude. There’s no reason for you to get all touchy about it.” He noticed the little baggie of white powder and his eyes widened.

She rolled her eyes. Carefully, Suzy mounded and then began to neatly arrange her hit. She carefully cut the lines of cocaine up into miniature hills, then stared at them. She looked up at Dan and batted her baby greens at him. “So do you want some or not?”

He shook his head and left the room, heading off to lick his wounds – and enjoy the hastily written personal check Arin had given to him.


End file.
